How Do I Stop Strangers From Touching My Baby?

Dear Expert Mom,

I had an incident at the grocery store the other day that I think I should have handled better, but I just don't know how I could have handled it differently and I am very upset over it.

I was scanning my groceries at the self-checkout line, and my three month old baby was fussing. I tried putting her binky in her mouth, but she spit it out. I was trying to quickly finish up when the teenage employee monitoring the self checkout lanes came over. She bent over the stroller so that she was close enough to breath on my baby, and started stroking her hand and talking to her. I am terrified of germs with all of the strange sicknesses that are going around, but I tried desperately to hold my tongue because I knew she was only trying to help. I finally lost it when she picked up my daughter's binky and tried to put it in her mouth!

Without even thinking I hysterically blurted out "no touching please!" She seemed very offended, and I tried to explain that she comes into contact with a lot of germs in her job (she handles the pen and receipt that every single customer touches, and for all I knew she handled money and credit cards too), but she still seemed really offended.

I have run into this problem with all three of my children. I can't seem to take a baby anywhere without someone, especially older people, rubbing their hands, tweaking their noses, touching their pacifiers, or pinching their cheeks. The best is when they run their dirty hands all over the protective seat cover that I put her in and say "oh what a good idea to keep away the germs"!

Can you please tell me a polite way to handle this situation if (or should I say when) it happens again?

-Germaphobe Mom In Detroit

Dear Germaphobe,

You are right to resist having strangers touch your baby or any object that she may hold or put in her mouth. With H1N1, RSV, and all the other scary viruses out there, many doctors advise keeping your baby away from large gatherings where they will be passed around to family members and exposed to germs. So it goes without saying that strangers should not be putting their hands on your baby.

So what do you do when someone is clueless enough to try to touch your baby? There is often no time for a long, polite explanation before the offending hand touches your little one, so a polite but firm "please don't touch the baby - doctor's orders" is perfectly acceptable. If they inquire "why, is she sick?" you may respond "no, and I'd like to keep it that way!"

You can also try some defensive maneuvers, like keeping the hood of the stroller or carrier tilted forward, shielding the baby from view, draping a thin blanket over the hood of the carrier, putting baby mittens on their hands so strangers can't touch their skin, etc. And, in case all else fails, carry extra baby wipes at all times so that you can immediately wipe your baby's hands and face if someone makes it past you!

Bottom Line: We live in a world full of scary viruses and germs. As a parent, politeness must sometimes take a backseat when your child's health or safety is at risk. Feel free to tell strangers "hands off". Good luck!

~Expert Mom