I'm Just Not In Love With My Husband Anymore

Dear Expert Mom,

I really don't know what to do, and I am hoping you can offer me some advice. My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have a nine month old baby boy. We have always had a good marriage and he is a wonderful man, but lately, I feel like something has changed. I love him, but I don't think that I am "in love" with him anymore. I am not even sure if we are compatible. It seems like we never talk anymore. I like him, but I have no passion for him. I really don't know what to do. Should I consider divorce? Should I stay with him for the sake of our baby? I am very upset and don't know where to turn. What do you think I should do?

-Confused in Alabama

Dear Confused,

You say that you "feel like something has changed". Well, something has changed. You have a baby! Your life has been turned upside down. You are probably exhausted, and you hormones may still be in flux, especially if you are breastfeeding. Most new moms lose their "passion", as you put it, during the first year because they are just to exhausted to do anything in bed but fall down face-first into their pillow and sleep! And who has the time or energy for decent conversation with a baby demanding all of your time and attention?

What you are experiencing is completely normal for a new mom, and it will get better as the baby gets a little older and a little bit easier. As the baby demands less of your attention, you and your husband will begin to focus on each other again, and when your sleep-deprived brain gets some rest, you will remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

Bottom Line: Hang in there, and try to remember what you and your husband were like before the baby - that is the real you, the real relationship, and I'm willing to bet you will find your way back to that couple in the near future. Good luck!

~Expert Mom