Should Professional Athlete's Wife Stay Home With The Kids?

Dear EM,

I am have been a stay at home mom for the past six years. I am married to a well-known professional athlete, and we have two children, both under the age of six. For various reasons, I have recently decided to go back to work part time. This means that I need someone to watch my little guy for ten hours a week while my other one is in school. A friend suggested that I contact the woman who watches her children during the day, since she had an opening. My friend has always raved about her child care provider, so I called right away.

EM, I was totally taken aback when this woman, who has never even met me, unexpectedly began lecturing me over the phone and basically called me a bad mother. She told me that although she did indeed have an opening, she refused to watch my child. She said, and I quote: "I know who your husband is. You have enough money that you can stay home and raise your own children. You shouldn't be going back to work, and I can't help you." I was so stunned that I was absolutely speechless. I am kicking myself for mumbling "Ok, goodbye" and hanging up, letting her get away with what she said to me.

Can you please tell me EM, what should I have said to this unbelievably rude person?

-Should Have Said Something In Miami

Dear Should Have,

You should have said "thank you". "Thank you" for letting you know up front what a narrow-minded, intolerant, judgmental person she was before you made the mistake of leaving your child in her care.

This woman had no right to judge you. How does she know why you want to go back to work? Maybe you and your husband are having problems and you want to make sure that you can support yourself and your kids. Maybe your husband pisses away all of your money gambling. Maybe you spent years building a career before you had kids and need to get your hand back in it before it all goes down the drain. Or, maybe you just feel like it will make you a better mommy if you get out of the house and go back to the world of adults for a few hours a week, where you can actually use your brain for something besides trying to remember who pooped when and what you need to buy at the grocery store! Whatever your reasons, they are just that - your reasons, and she had no right to judge you.

Bottom Line: Sounds to me like this woman did you a favor by revealing her true colors up front. Don't give her a second thought, or lose sleep over what you should have said. It sounds to me like she is not worth any more of your time, and you and your child are better off without her. Good luck!

~Expert Mom