Can We Afford To Have Another Child?

Dear Expert Mom;

My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and have 2 children, ages 3 and 1. We would really love one more baby, but I am worried about finances. How are we going to pay for college for three kids and three weddings? Is it fair to have a child when we may not be able to give him or her these things? I don't want to be selfish, but we really want a big family. What should I do?

-Megan in Springfield

Dear Megan,

Many people share your concerns about paying for college and weddings, but to me, those are not financial concerns that should keep you from having another child.

Let's start with the easy one, a wedding. Should a four hour affair that is over in the blink of an eye keep you from a lifetime of love and happiness with a child? No, definitely not.

Now for college: yes, college is pretty much essential these days if you want to have any chance for job security and decent money. However, if you can't afford to send your children to college, they can always attend a less expensive state or local college and take out loans, or work their way through night school. Where there is a will there is a way. Plus, what if your child wants to go to trade school instead? Or just decides he/she doesn't want to go to college? You can't put the cart in front of the horse - to me these things are too far in the future and too uncertain to stop you from the joys of having another child.

The financial issues that I feel are important when considering having a child are: do you have adequate medical insurance to cover the enormous hospital bills and doctor fees that come with having a child; can you afford to stay home if that is what you want to do, or pay for daycare if you plan to work; and will you be able to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet and a roof over their head? If you can answer "yes" to all of these questions, then I say you are financially ready to have another child - the rest will work itself out.

Think of it this way: if there had been some way for your parents to ask you, before you were conceived, "do you want to be given a life in a loving, happy family even if we can't pay for your college and wedding, or would you rather not be born at all?", what would your answer be?

Bottom Line: If everyone waited until they could afford every anticipated expense in life before they had a child, there would be very few children in the world. Take a careful look at your finances, and if you can afford the basic day to day expenses associated with food, shelter, clothing and medical expenses, then I would say that you are in good shape to move forward! Good luck!

~Expert Mom