Graduation Party Stress

Dear Expert Mom,

I have two girls. My oldest, Lisa, is graduating high school this year, and my youngest, Colleen, is graduating junior high (8th grade). My husband and I struggle to make ends meet, but we don't let the kids know this. We have been saving for this past year to throw Lisa a graduation party at a local catering hall. Now my little one, Colleen, is giving us a really hard time because she wants a graduation party too, and says that we are favoring Lisa, we like Lisa better, we only care about Lisa, etc.

We tried to explain to Colleen that we can not afford two parties this year, and that graduating from high school is a really big deal, and that some day she will get a graduation party too. She is having none of it. She is insisting that we make Lisa's party a double party for both of them. Lisa is not happy with that idea, and neither am I. I think that is unfair to Lisa to have to share the spotlight on her special day. I also think it is tacky and unfair to our guests, who will then have to bring two presents but only get to go to one party.

What do you think? Are we being unreasonable giving only one of our girls a party when we could just as easily make it for both of them?

-Torn in Minneapolis

Dear Torn,

You are not wrong to give Lisa her own party. Although graduating from junior high is exciting, it does not compare to graduating from high school, which is a very big achievement and a huge milestone in someone's life. Also, like you, I am not a big fan of parents tacking another kid into a party and forcing the guests to bring another gift.

I am guessing that your older one did not have a big party when she graduated junior high either? I would suggest acknowledging your younger daughter's achievement by taking her out for a special family dinner, or throwing a small family party at your house. However, given your situation, I think it is perfectly acceptable that you throw only one large party this year, and that party be for your high school graduate.

Bottom Line: Do not feel guilty for working within your budget and celebrating your older daughter's special achievement. Just be sure to acknowledge your little one's mini-graduation on a smaller scale. Good luck!

~Expert Mom