He Let His Mom Pick Out My Gift!

Dear EM,

I am so annoyed right now, I don't even know what to do. My husband and I have a nine month old baby, so this year was my very first mother's day. I was so happy when my husband gave me my present - a beautiful gold heart locket with my baby's picture inside. I was so surprised by his thoughtful gift that I actually cried.

Later in the day, we stopped by my MIL's house for cake. I couldn't wait to show everyone my gift. I went right up to my MIL and said proudly "look at what Doug gave me!". She looked at my necklace and said "it looks beautiful on you - I have great taste."! Imagine what a fool I felt like as my husband admitted that his mother went with him to pick out my Mother's Day gift! Not only was I embarrassed, but I don't even want the necklace now - I feel like it is from my MIL instead of my husband.

I feel that he should have picked out this special gift for me himself. I am hurt and unbelievably embarrassed. My husband thinks that I am overreacting. My question is, would it be wrong for me to return the necklace?

-Disappointed First Time Mom

Dear Disappointed,

I completely understand how you feel. When my husband and I first talked about getting engaged, the first thing that I said to him was "nobody else can help you pick out my ring." I wanted it to be from him, and him alone. So I understand your disappointment upon learning that your MIL helped pick out your very first Mother's Day gift for you.

That being said, I would not return the necklace. It's not like your husband sent your MIL shopping without him for your present. He was there, and I am sure he approved of the necklace, even if your MIL picked it out first. Plus, he went through the trouble of taking a picture of your baby and cutting it out and putting it in the necklace, which to me is the most special part of the gift.

It sounds like your hubby's heart was definitely in the right place, even if his brain wasn't. He probably realized what a special Mother's Day this was for you and did not trust his own judgment to pick out the perfect gift, so he brought along his mom for some womanly advice. Too bad Mom felt the need to steal the credit and open her big mouth. She clearly knew that you thought the gift was from your husband, and it was not her place to spoil that for you. If you are looking for someone to be mad at, there's your culprit. Your husband is just a man, and as such can't help being clueless!

Bottom Line: Don't beat your husband up over this. Accept the gift for what it is - a loving gesture from your husband. And set him straight that in the future you would rather have a crappy gift that he picked out by himself than a nice gift picked by someone else! Good luck!

~Expert Mom