Should We Move Before Our Kids Get Older?

Dear EM,

I am a stay at home mom of three - six year old James, four year old Emily and one year old Sammy. James is just finishing Kindergarten, and Emily will start Kindergarten in September of 2011. The school district that we are in has lots of problems in the middle and high schools - low test scores, drugs, violence, so we know that we need to move before our kids get to that point in school.

I really would like to move now, before our kids are older and have lots of school friends. I don't want them to be the "new kids" in school in older grades when everyone already knows each other and has their friends and cliques.

The problem is, we can't really afford the house of our dreams right now, with only one income. I plan on going back to work part time when Sammy is in school, but that won't be for another four years. I feel like when I am working too, we will be able to afford a bigger and/or more updated house. But I hate to wait that long because then my oldest will be in fourth grade and Emily will be in second. I don't really want to let them get so far in school and then rip them away from their friends and put them in a new school. But I also hate to buy a house now that is not what we could have a few years from now.

So what do I do? Buy a dumpier house now, or wait and make my kids have to adjust to switching schools later?

-Jan in LA

Dear Jan,

Speaking as someone who switched school districts FOUR times growing up, I am going to vote that you move now. Everyone always says that "kids are resilient", and to a certain extent they are, but the higher the grade, the harder it is to change schools. I still have nightmares about the cafeteria - there is nothing worse than not having a familiar face to sit next to on the first day (or week) of school.

Plus, you are only planning on going back to work part-time. Will the income that you expect to make really make that big of a difference on the house that you can buy? And who knows what interest rates and house prices will be like in four years? Rates are at an all-time low right now, and prices are down, so it may be a good time to make a move.

I would suggest that you buy a house now that is in a good location/school district and has a decent amount of land, even if the house is a bit smaller or outdated than you would like. Then, when you begin to work, you can use that money to either expand or update the house, and turn it into the house of your dreams.

Bottom Line: I am in favor of getting your kids established in a school district where they can stay and begin building friendships as soon as possible. You can always fix up a house or move again within the same school district later. Good luck!

~EM